That girl: The Douche.

For some reason and I don't know why, girls often dodge insulting labels like being called a fag or a douche. these terms are always used when describing a guy with less than awesome traits for whatever reason. Girls are never reduced to being called a fag or a douche. They have whore and bitch, labels often given to men as well. I think that is horse shit.

Nomenclature: "Duntch" : Definition: Douche-unassuming-Bitch

Some of the douchiest people I've ever met were girls. It's so funny using it in public. The next time some girl is in a bar being obnoxious/gross, call her a douche or a fag to your friends. It always gets a big reaction but it is the truth. There are many sub categories of the girl douche, the centerpiece of today's investigative observational report: Queen of the scene.

There is a difference if a girl is collected and confident. That is very attractive and awesome, although oddly rare. The contrast is the pretty/semi-pretty girl who has recieved a lot of attention and believes that she's hot shit. She gets cocky and her style begins to reflect it.

That is the most dangerous state of mind a girl could ever have.

The Queen of the scene: Yea, she's here. She knows you saw her come in. She has personailty for days and the hat to match. This douche can be in any scene, the college sorority scene, the inner city young and hip elite, ect. Anywhere that has definitive style, she is the characature. She might have been the ring leader of whatever clique she has ever been a part of. she has received enough complements from the drones that have always looked up to her to make her hyper aware that she is attractive and popular. She’s the girl wearing the fedora hat at the bar. Yes, that look is cool, if youre on stange at a strip club, anywhere else it just makes her an ass hat.

This girl will often post videos of her and her friends singing or dancing on facebook. A lot of girls do this, but here is where the duntchy distinction lies: her eyes. Her eyes are always fixed on the screen so she can keep a constant check on how cool she looks. She isnt singing and dancing to be funny, she’s doing it to amuse the shit out of herself, and she now has the luxury of reliving that moment over and over again to watch at her leisure. She performs a good dozen sweeps of the video for aything that isn’t turbo cool or to make sure that her lips are puckered for 90% of it.

( I have 1 girl and a video of her in mind that I would post, but she’s friends with my roomates and I don’t want to shit where I eat. I can assure you, she is the coolest person she has ever met.)

The LA duntch scene is thriving. Every girl knows a bunch of people who know a bunch of people who work with a bunch of people that are really awesome and conncted. As lame as these girls are, they are extremely well connected, which can be very advantageous around here. I have to give them credit there. They have access to shit I never will. Whenever I get a glimpse of that (as ive mentioned before) world, it’s usually pretty boring. Sometimes it is really fucking cool though. I guess I’ll never know. I personally have a hard time with anyone who takes themselves too seriously. They have this rock hard idea of who they are and what category they fit into and with it comes this barrage of really lame ideals they try to buy into and lose sight of the fact that they look like an asshole.

i.e: Girls that wear makeup to the gym.

If they could wear heels on the treadmill they would. In LA if you go to certain gyms, people get all dolled up to work out. They go to the gym as a way to get seen. By who I don’t know. When I go to the gym I try to look as uncool as possible in hopes of throwing th universe back into proper sync. Maintaining a straight face while acting like you don’t know people are looking at you and intentionally doing something wrong…one of the most fulfilling things I can do. What duntch groups do you often see when you go out? If you ever find yourself in an argument with one, end whatever you are saying with. “God you’re a douche.” Her jaw will drop.