The music is still blaring in a room with nobody in it. The fog machine is sporadically purging it lines. The guy nobody knows is passed out in your bathroom and the keg is tapped. What I love is when you're walking around the house trying to find any survivors and you come into a room with one of your friends having the semi coherent heart to heart with some girl (or vice versa). You are relieved to find one of your friends still up, but that excitement quickly dies when you get "the look." It is totally understood by anyone who has ever gotten laid, ever.
You: "Oh, cool you're still up. Dude. You are not going to believe what I saw this bum doing with a sandwich..."
(sword noise)
Your friend shoots you "the look" but says nothing.
"The Look"
You: So I guess I'll see you tomorrow, I'm pretty wasted. Gonna hit the hay. (To Girl) It was nice meeting...whats your name? It was nice meeting you Kelly. Fake Yawn.
("The look" is interchangeable with completely being ignored by your friend after you said your entrance greeting and they don't look up. Less Common, equally affective.)
You get it. It's a two person party. The tone is set. Catch the next bus.
But when you were growing up? Totally different. I remember so many times hanging out with my girlfriend somewhere around my house and my little brother would come in. He didn't do signals. A 9 year old boy doesn't do subtle hints. I remember laying around in our secluded basement with my girlfriend at the time watching TV, maybe we were about to hook up, maybe I just wanted to be alone with her. My little brother would come in the room and sit down and watch whatever we were watching. For whatever reason when you are 17 laying on a couch with your girlfriend, you really don't want any interruptions/ road hazards on the road to possibly seeing some action. So naturally I would say somethign to the effect of...
"Maybe you should go upstairs, LEAVE."
Pretty obvious, pretty direct. Almost every single time I said that, his answer was always "no." He didn't want a reason, he didn't even care about what was going on, what was on TV, he just didnt want to go because then what, go chill with mom? Naturally, when you ask someone to leave (which is pretty infrequent as an adult) they get it. Who wants to be somewhere when someone is making it beyond obvious that you're not welcome and any witnessing parties aren't objecting. I would go on and be aggressive.
"Dude get the fuck out of here"
Still he would just say "no." The best part is after trying to drag him out of the room and his repeated attempts to come back in, I would give in and eventually relocate (he was too young to beat the shit out of at the time so I all I could do what be a dick.) Within 5 minutes of going elsewhere, he would show up! So at some point is that adorable retard skull not only did he get the tv to himself, he missed me telling him to eat shit enough to seek me out, like nothing had happened. It's hilarious to think about because it was so long ago and so normal at the time. Can you imagine applying that scenario to your adult life?
Your roommate walks in and takes a seat; you're just watching tv with a girl. You look your buddy in the eyes and the first thing that comes out of your mouth is, "Hey man, maybe now would be a good time to be anywhere but here, fuck off." (silence and staring) "No?" That would be such a bridge burner. You can't talk to people like that when you're older, they would take it so personally. I would too. A little kid? They have the emotional memory of a goldfish. I would get in brawls with any one of my brothers over something stupid and maybe 20 seconds later, while still winded it would be like, "...so you wanna go ride bikes?"
All for now.
-Ted (from that show "Hey Dude")
("The look" is interchangeable with completely being ignored by your friend after you said your entrance greeting and they don't look up. Less Common, equally affective.)
You get it. It's a two person party. The tone is set. Catch the next bus.
But when you were growing up? Totally different. I remember so many times hanging out with my girlfriend somewhere around my house and my little brother would come in. He didn't do signals. A 9 year old boy doesn't do subtle hints. I remember laying around in our secluded basement with my girlfriend at the time watching TV, maybe we were about to hook up, maybe I just wanted to be alone with her. My little brother would come in the room and sit down and watch whatever we were watching. For whatever reason when you are 17 laying on a couch with your girlfriend, you really don't want any interruptions/ road hazards on the road to possibly seeing some action. So naturally I would say somethign to the effect of...
"Maybe you should go upstairs, LEAVE."
Pretty obvious, pretty direct. Almost every single time I said that, his answer was always "no." He didn't want a reason, he didn't even care about what was going on, what was on TV, he just didnt want to go because then what, go chill with mom? Naturally, when you ask someone to leave (which is pretty infrequent as an adult) they get it. Who wants to be somewhere when someone is making it beyond obvious that you're not welcome and any witnessing parties aren't objecting. I would go on and be aggressive.
"Dude get the fuck out of here"
Still he would just say "no." The best part is after trying to drag him out of the room and his repeated attempts to come back in, I would give in and eventually relocate (he was too young to beat the shit out of at the time so I all I could do what be a dick.) Within 5 minutes of going elsewhere, he would show up! So at some point is that adorable retard skull not only did he get the tv to himself, he missed me telling him to eat shit enough to seek me out, like nothing had happened. It's hilarious to think about because it was so long ago and so normal at the time. Can you imagine applying that scenario to your adult life?
Your roommate walks in and takes a seat; you're just watching tv with a girl. You look your buddy in the eyes and the first thing that comes out of your mouth is, "Hey man, maybe now would be a good time to be anywhere but here, fuck off." (silence and staring) "No?" That would be such a bridge burner. You can't talk to people like that when you're older, they would take it so personally. I would too. A little kid? They have the emotional memory of a goldfish. I would get in brawls with any one of my brothers over something stupid and maybe 20 seconds later, while still winded it would be like, "...so you wanna go ride bikes?"
All for now.
-Ted (from that show "Hey Dude")
bahahaha. so is this about sam or me?
ReplyDeleteFunny side note, when I was finally lucky (or unlucky) enough to have a girlfriend in high school, I would always remember interrupting those intimate times shared by you and yours and feel like a dick. Sam will figure out his missteps soon enough...or maybe not. I guess maggie counts as an interuption, right?
Also, did you ever play the angle on the door? You could totally see up the stairs if you had the angle on the door right. lol. Saved me plenty of times.
what about our bathtub SCH2H on july 4th? that was in the 10% where we welcomed ratt into out party with open arms
ReplyDelete